When I had my first Alabama homebirth, midwifery had barely been legalized for our state. It felt like a rebellious choice that was met with a lot of hostility from hospital staff, and medical providers. Now, this time, it is beginning to make waves as something that is seen as a valid choice for low-risk (most) women - if they so choose. But there is still a significant amount of mystery around it and the midwives in our state still have to jump through so many hoops to provide full-spectrum women’s care for their patients.
I thought about not sharing our experience or photos - because it is an intimate and personal experience.
But then I thought about the absolute privilege I have had as a woman to learn about birth first hand at the bedsides of women delivering babies in cozy, loving atmospheres. I didn’t learn about birth from television, or mainstream books and it has played a huge role in shaping my ideas about birth. I don’t want to withhold my experience when what I had can and should be so completely normal.
Older women can have the birth they want.
Plus sized women can have the birth they want.
Moms of none, and moms of many can have the birth they want.
Older siblings can see birth as normal.
Husbands can catch babies.
Every long early labor (like mine) isn’t a failure to progress.
Every short and fast active labor doesn’t mean breathing problems.
6lb babies, and 9lb babies can pass through the same pelvis.
Shoulder dystocia can be solved through kneeling.
You can say no to any intervention (in any atmosphere).
You can have the birth you want, not always - but usually!
Without further ado - here’s Ezra’s story.
Ezra Catalino Romero
Meaning:,A helper superior to most.
Named for his great grandfather.
Weight: 9lb1oz
Length: 21 3/4”
Head: 14.5cm
Born at 39w4d
Early labor began in April 20th. This is the stage where baby is coaxed into position and the cervix softens and dilated up to 4cm. This was by far my longest early labor ever. I did get breaks but conservatively - spent about 50% of the time contracting for 60-90 seconds every 2-4 minutes. It was not painful so much as it was exhausting. I think the extended time had to do with his size in part, but also his face was posterior and his body kept switching around into non-ideal positions.
Monday 4/26 I went to my midwives appointment and ended up in tears. I was so on edge at this point from the constant stop and go! We discussed gentle inductions that I could try if we reached that point and while I was grateful for options I was sincerely hoping to not reach a point of needing to apply any of them 🤣 I think I just needed to know that he wasn’t going to stay in forever!
4/27 I woke up to strong contractions I began timing at 5:43. I contacted my midwife and she arrived not long after 8 to check on me. I had several lulls and discovered I STILL was not quite in active labor. I felt terrible calling her out for nothing but she assured me I wouldn’t be the first or the last to do so. We did some walking in the yard a little bit and I did some praying. I felt like God assured me “today is the day, it just isn’t the time yet.” So I threw dinner in the crockpot and began to get ready for baby day!
We set up and filled the birth pool.
Mostly I relaxed in bed with a peanut ball and did my best to stay hydrated.
Around 3pm I started to feel funny familiar “babies coming” sensations with contractions. I didn’t time them but I felt like I needed to call Hamilton my midwife again, she told me she would head my way. I again started praying and asked God to PLEASE not let me waste her time again!
At 3:15 I had a contraction and it felt like Ezra punted a football from the inside of me 🤣 I gasped and Nahum heard from the other room and checked on me. I told him I thought my water broke and he raced and got a towel just in time before they released!
My midwife arrived on the scene I think at 3:53? She came into me having contractions and lovingly assuringly brushed my arm and began setting up supplies and listening to Ezra. She never performed any cervical checks in labor which was my preference. Somewhere along the way, using her 6th sense apparently, she told Nahum I would probably be pushing in a couple contractions and offered for him to get in the pool with me. I was actually SUPER surprised when he did 😂
He sat in the waters with me through a couple of hard contractions when my body started feeling pushy and BAM. Nehemiah had an accident and hurt himself 🤦♀️
I was so grateful for my bodies kindness and instincts then. I had a long break between contractions to referee a small argument and comfort Nehemiah. Then Elijah took him to the porch and he fell asleep on him. The timing here was really cool too because then our last missing piece from our puzzle arrived just in time and began taking photos I will value FOREVER!
It seemed like almost immediately my body began to push, at first it was still uncomfortable and I needed to find the right angle. I was spoiled by an incredibly short pushing stage with the last two babies. This one was different I had to change angles three times that I remember before pushing felt like a relief and I felt him crown. Maybe because he was so big compared to the other babies? Maybe because his cord was wrapped? No clue, but it felt like one long intense contraction with him barely arriving. His face was blue, so my midwife encouraged me to get him out. Thankfully the blue seemed to be at least partially just bruising from his bad position. He arrived at 4:43 and began wiggling and breathing pretty quickly without need of extra encouragement or intervention.
Annnd, that about sums it up!
He has been the most eager nurser I’ve ever had and I’m still sitting in a bit of a daze from afterbirth contractions. They really REALLY suck more after each kid. But mostly we are spending our time getting to know each other in this new way and I am falling more in love with him by the second. I’m so grateful I love and adore Nahum because I’m pretty sure Ezra is a copy+paste of him (those are my lips though!!!)
In my first 24 hours postpartum I have been surrounded by food, love, and such compassionate care. I’m leaning into the value of accepting help this time and allowing my body all the time it needs to heal. 39 weeks to grow a baby - surely it will take a few more to heal from it!
Thewombsisterhood.com
Send your birth story to thewombsisterhood@gmail.com