I was so broken.
I was 8 weeks postpartum and struggling immensely.
I was begging the internet to fix me and my baby. Seeking validation from anyone, anywhere.
“Am I a failure if I quit breastfeeding?”
“Am I a terrible person for not loving motherhood?”
“How can I get my baby to sleep? It’s slowly killing me.”
Frantic Google searches at 4AM, tears streaming down my face and thumbs tapping wildly.
My mind played masterful tricks on me. How do you realize that these thoughts are not actually yours when they’re coming from your own body?
“You’re weak. How could you even think you could be a mother? You can’t even take care of yourself.”
“You weren’t biologically wired to be a mother. You’re inherently flawed.”
“You made a terrible mistake. They deserve better than you. Just go.”
I kept getting told, “it gets better. Just hang in there!” But it didn’t.
I stayed in this darkness for 5 long months.
Isolating. Not eating. Not sleeping. My body shutting down. Staring at a stranger in the mirror. Forgetting what it means to be me.
I was lost somewhere on the other side of that darkness. It took a long time to find her again.
So here is what I need to say to you today: Do not wait. Do not suffer in silence for months like I did. Do not let anything or anyone rob you of those precious first few months.
There are so many others out there that have walked this path before. You are not alone. There is help for you and you will see light again. I promise you that.
You. Are. Worthy.
You. Are. Enough.
Just as you are.
@thebalanceafterbaby
Let The Wombsisterhood lift you up, CONNECT with these beautiful women, allow them to invite you in and hold you with holy hands, reach into this brave space and open up to be TRULY HEARD, held, and validated while guided by God through every step of motherhood.
It takes a village and it takes allowing the purest loving source to hold us through.
We are NOT in this alone.
We are in this together!
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